Why do I find homemaking so fulfilling? Why is it that I have no doubts or worries, that I am not wondering about my identity or looking for something meaningful to do? I ask myself this because it does appear to puzzle people. I have people suggest to me that I am happy at home because I am the homemaking type, or that I just enjoy that sort of thing, which seems to imply that my favorite hobbies are baking cakes and sewing cushions to adorn my sofa. This amuses me and has struck me as profoundly inaccurate. It is indeed true to say that I enjoy making a cake or sewing a cushion, but not for their own sake. In fact, my personality and gifts are probably less in the domestic arts than many women who feel they are losing their identity by staying at home. As a girl and a student I tended towards being a bookworm and climbing every tree in range. This of climbing trees and also reading in them did not diminish in college. I found history, and literature, ancient mythology and old languages fascinating and deeply stirring. I only occasionally cooked, and I sewed even less. Knitting and cross stitch still fail to captivate my mind. Cleaning the bathroom captivates me even less. Adventure and academics sounded pretty darn good to me. Either I have indeed lost my identity as so many women seem to fear for themselves or something else is going on.
I always knew even as a little girl that I wanted to be married and a mother who stayed at home. I had my single missionary moment at twelve, considered rock climbing at the age of eight, but deep down, I knew what I really wanted. This was because the most godly fruitful women in my life had no career and were not seeking the high places and yet their influence was and is profound, and the fruit of their labours in the small things was impressive. Before I even had words to frame it I could smell the aroma of a wonderful God-given calling. Of course I grew in my understanding of this calling and found it in the scriptures. I began to see how all of my knowledge and gifts could be offered up in this place. I knew that when I left my parents’ roof my home would be my talent which I could either bury in the ground or work and multiply it in order to offer it back to God.
One of the scriptures that clearly emphasizes the calling of women to their homes is Titus 2:4-5. It tells us what the older women are to teach the young women. This means that it is a command from God and it is specific to women. It says nothing about what women may not do, but it does delegate profound responsibilities to women: “To be discreet chaste, keepers at home, obedient to their own husband, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Many would say that this was culture specific, but there is nothing in the context to suggest this--nothing but our modern desire for it to be true. The desire to shirk these responsibilities is caused by a belief that they are not gifts, that they are not in fact good things, that it is burdensome and limiting to keep the home not to mention the obey your own husbands bit. The human heart always wants to decide what is in fact good, noble and important instead of letting God. We suspect God of tricking us out of a good thing, and like the serpent suggested in the garden, keeping us from being like him, making us into servants. This comes from a profoundly wrong view of God. If we are his children, then he desires good things for us. How much more will our Father in heaven give us than the world will? We must stop fearing servanthood. Being a servant is good. It is what our Savior did. He did not do this because servanthood was the goal, but because servanthood is the way to exaltation. Homemakers are indeed serving in their homes, but the more they serve the more they are exalted
So why do I find my what I do fulfilling? Because it is not a hobby but a calling from God. If God has given me a gift, then it must be good; if God has given me a job to do than it must be meaningful. It is that belief that gives me peace and joy in my calling, not an innate love of cake-baking, and sewing. The many small jobs that are included in homemaking are meaningful only if they are making tangible the love that I have received from God and communicating it in the realm that I have complete dominion over.
